Resistance

I do not really want to exercise today. I don’t really want to do anything. I’m so tired from the week on the weekends, that I want to stay in my pajamas all weekend, drink coffee, and do nothing more challenging than surf the web. But I can’t do that. We all get so little time off, so I need to make the most of my weekends.

Instead of being motivating, though, that idea in itself makes me anxious. So much to do! Family stuff, house stuff, personal fun stuff, writing-of-the-dissertation stuff. There are so many options that I want to maximize that I end up in paralyzed by choice. Then, my brain tells me, “You should just take it easy because you are tired and it will be a hard week and you’ll never get all this stuff done, anyway.” So, I resist the things I need to do (due to tiredness? frustration? sheer overwhelm?) and end up de-energized and not in a good way to start my Monday.

So, I’m working on it. I don’t have to do everything all at once this weekend. I just have to do the things that are in front of me. I’ll feel better if a get some small steps done even if I don’t get EVERYTHING checked off my list. So, today, my list includes exercise, church, writing, and time with my family. The windows might not get cleaned (yeah, just thought about that one), and I might not get to my Pinterest to-do list, but I’ll live my day instead of analyzing it to death.

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